Friday, June 04, 2010

Spam, Part MCXL

Why do I insist on picking at the scab that is my spam folder? The only thing I accomplish by even glancing at the headings of the effluvia in it is to grow furious with the pond scum who perpetrate this idiocy and despair for the future of humanity.

And here we go again!

"Hello, you have a nice picture in the dating site, would you mind to chat? = Hello my name is Marina! I like your pic....." (Hello. I have no picture in the dating site, and yes, I would very much mind to chat. Now go outside and play, Marina. I'm busy.)

"We are actually searching for regional managers all over USA countries...." (That must be quite a chore, considering how many USA countries there are.)

"I am a single Mom, but still deserve love" (Of course you do, my dear. But what do you expect me to do about it? I'm empathetic, but not stupid enough to read further.)

Plumpy "im big and curvy-wanna meet me?" (Take a wild guess, Plumpy....followed by a flying...never mind.)

Miranda "I am a single Mom, but I still deserve love" (Uh, excuse me, Miranda, but that line's been taken.)

Adam "I am a single Dad, but don't I get a second chance?" (At what? Certainly not from me, but I'm sure you and Miranda and what's her face a couple notes above would really hit it off.)

Mojeed Salam - PLEASE REPLY URGENT THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT (To whom, Mr. Salam? To whom? Certainly not to me.)

Becky "I am a single mom, but don't I get a second chance?" (Oh, for the love of God, woman: NO!)

MaxGentleman Size-Enhanc "The penis is a muscular organ, designed to grow with the correct supplements!" (One word response: Bullshit!)

"En1argerPenis 3" in 6 Weeks, see myPenis pictures as proof." (Uh, no thanks...I'll just take your wrd for it.)

Kues Thornberg "claws in the pole. I..." (And tulips in the refrigerator. Your point being...?)

"BareLiftsBra - the ultimate Mother's Day gift" (Were my mom still alive, she'd be 99 years old this year. I'm sure a BareLiftsBra would be exactly what she'd want for Mother's Day.)

"Natural PenisEnlarge Pills: Are 3-inchesGain Really Possible? iwgpq koe..." ("iwgpq koe" is Spamese for "NO!")

"Take us up on it guys.--Calling all men in the world to take our challenge. We challenge you to prove our product is..." (Is this a 'complete the sentence' test? If so, I'll go with "worthless.")

"Tructed us in the latest manner of eating an orange in th -E not be a dearth of poems in the spring? Who then would...." (Would someone please, please explain to me what the hell these people think they're doing or what they think they're accomplishing with gibberish like this?)

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