Spam and the Turnip Truck

And here we are yet again aboard the turnip truck with a frenzied pack of spammers running wildly behind waiting for someone to fall off. The following are some of their irresistible lures, exactly as received.

"There are more than one good options for getting through rough time...." (Yes, but there are only one good ways to talk English good.)

"Make your dick longer than the Great China Wall with Penis Enlargement drolfr hqjn...." (Well, it's the "Great Wall of China", but I agree with you totally on the "drolfr hqjn")

"Business Proposition - Compliments of the Season, Although you might be apprehensive about my email as we have not met...." (Apprehensive? Perish the thought! I'm always eager to enter into a "business proposition"--I assume I might be expected to contribute a dollar or two?--with someone I don't know from Adam.)

Cherish Arlean: "What women like in a man? more longer penis is better...." (And redundant. What a lovely name, Cherish. And what a charming, literate message.)

"You are a proud Winner of £891,934.00.Contact Mr Newton West with the following information:
Name,Address,Age,Occupation,Tel,Country." (Well, I'm usually the one to determine whether I'm proud or not, but if I won all that money, wouldn't you already know my name? You sent me an email, after all.)

INTERNATIONAL FUNDS RE "Your over due payment -Imf world regulatory office international funds regulatory authority inter-continental debt...." (Yeah, like I'm going to open some pompous-sounding piece of crap from someone who can't even spell "overdue"!)

ComTechService "Why we stopped our communication? 'I expected more, Olga!'" (Notes to self: 1, Buy gun. 2, Look up address for ComTechService.)

Tia Angelita "How can I make my penis longer?" (Uh, if your name is Tia, you probably don't have a penis, so I wouldn't worry about it.)

"From Allyah Queen/Hello My Dear, I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow..." (Oh, you poor dear! Say no more!! Here, have a Kleenex. Now go stand in the middle of the freeway and see if you can find someone who gives a shit.)

Kelly Carlena "Can penis pill give you a monster penis? Can it give you rock hard erections on demand?" (Wow, Kelly! That's a tough one. Let me think about it and get back to you. What's your home address and telephone number, again? Note to self: buy LOTS of bullets.)

ComTechService: "russian woman seeking marriage" (Stop the Presses!!! And you're telling me this because...? I didn't care before, I don't care now.)

Member Offers: "Live girls!" (Live girls what? And are they Russian, by chance?)

meet me want to (No, Yoda, meet you don't want to. Drop dead want you to.)

New entries are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Please come back...and bring a friend. Your comments are always welcome. And you're invited to stop by my website at http://www.doriengrey.com, or drop me a note at doriengrey@att.net.