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We all live within the harsh
confines of the cage of reality, the bars of which are the
unbreakable laws of physics. And even within that cage, we are
tightly shackled by our daily lives and by unconscious acceptance of
what we have always been told is and therefore must always be. Few
realize that the cage has a door, and the key to that door lies
within the mind. Reality imprisons the body, but it cannot restrain
the mind.
I've been aware of this fact
all my life and, as a result, Reality and I have developed a most
unusual relationship. I am not so foolish or delusional as to deny
Reality's existence; I simply—and quite honestly—choose to ignore
it whenever possible, which, fortunately, not having the tethers of
job or family, is most of the time. I've always found life much
easier to get through when I don't have to burden myself with facing
Reality head on.
Reality, for example, says I
am 79 years old. I blithely refuse to accept it. Even when Reality
puts a reflective surface in my line of vision in an effort to show
me who's really in control, I'm able to simply reject the image as
being of some wizened old man I've never seen before and would be
happy never to see again. He resembles nothing so much as a dried
apple-core carving of a human, and I cannot relate to him in any way.
So I don't.
I am able, despite Reality's
strong evidence to the contrary, to still believe in the basic
goodness of people. I believe in honor and grace and beauty. I
believe in happily-ever-after and miracles and bravery and nobility.
I automatically assume that every man I find attractive is
homosexual. Even when he is with a woman, I know it's his sister or
good friend and that he has an equally good-looking male partner
waiting at home. If he is with another good looking man, they are
partners. This was evinced this morning at coffee with my friend
Gary. A truly beautiful young man...tall, dark curly hair...came in
towing a large wheeled suitcase. He had, my mind told me, just flown
in to O'Hare, had taken the CTA Blue Line to Logan Square and
transferred to the eastbound #76 bus, getting off at the Brown Line
Diversey station next to the coffee shop. He ordered coffee and left,
Gary calling my attention to the fact that another extremely handsome
man had just pulled up and gotten out of his car to meet the
beautiful traveler. Gary assumed the other man was the traveler's
father, but he was much too young...almost the same age as the
traveler. They were, of course, partners, and the coffee shop was a
convenient halfway point for them to meet. They didn't hug or kiss,
but I knew that would come later. They got in the car and drove away.
They were holding hands, I'm sure.
Were they partners? Were
they even gay? They were and are in my mind and heart, so what
difference did it make if Reality said otherwise? I wanted them to be
together, and in love, and happy, and so they were and are.
Far too many people ever
even dare to think outside Reality's cage. Had they been in the
coffee shop they—like Gary—would have seen nothing more than a
nice looking young man with a suitcase, ordering coffee and then
going outside to meet someone and driving off. Period. End of story.
Or, rather, no story.
Life is so filled with
wonderful, delightful, fun, positive stories which need no basis in
reality to provide pleasure and warmth in a world too-often bleak or
dull. The trick is to see beyond the bars of the cage.
If it pleases you to believe
something—no matter how unrealistic it may appear to others—and
it harms no one, by all means, believe it with all your heart. We
make so much of the sorrow we experience in the course of our lives;
surely we are allowed to create a little happiness.
Remember the end of Peter
Pan, where Tinkerbelle is dying because she believes no one
believes in her? Well, as Peter says, “Clap if you believe.” I
do.
Dorien's
blogs are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday. Please take a moment to visit his website
(http://www.doriengrey.com)
and, if you enjoy these blogs, you might want to check out Short
Circuits: a Life in Blogs (http://bit.ly/m8CSO1).
2 comments:
And this post, my dear friend, is why you are a writer, author and creator of stories. You are one to see what others quickly dismiss or altogether don't. And that's why you must continue to write.
A song comes to mind that reminds me of you; I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. Cher borrowed it from U2 and opens many of her concerts with it. Of all the many experiences and successes she's had in life, something still eludes her just as it does you. But perhaps you'll find it one day.
Kind words, Kage. Thank you. I think we are all on a constant quest for something; it's just that some people are more aware of it than others.
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