Russ
and I met during our freshman year in college. He was Irish Catholic
from Chicago—tall, with black hair which was even then turning
salt-and-pepper—he would have made a wonderful priest. Despite our
different backgrounds we somehow became friends as college students
do, and we remained so until a few years before his death, when he
inexplicably simply moved away and I lost track of him.
But
that’s not the story I want to tell here. I want to tell you of my
friend, Russ, and his marvelous intelligence and wit and how much his
friendship meant...and means...to me.
Though
we both entered college at the same time, I left after my sophomore
to join the Naval Aviation Cadet program so that I would be able to
take advantage of the G.I. Bill for my last two years of school. And
when I returned two years later, Russ had graduated, served a stint
in the army, and begun his teaching career. We lost track of one
another for quite some time. And then one evening, probably two years
after I'd graduated and moved to Chicago, my partner Norm and I were
in a bar when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see
Russ, face impassive. “Now, as I was saying…” he began.
Russ's
military service was, he claimed, singularly uneventful. They
assigned him to be a truck driver. Russ did not want to be a truck
driver. He told his sergeant he could not drive a truck. He told his
lieutenant he could not drive a truck. He told everyone within
hearing distance that he could not drive a truck. They put him in a
truck, and he immediately drove it into a wall. Getting out of the
crumpled vehicle, he merely raised one eyebrow and said: “See?”
We
always made one another laugh, and he suffered me with patience and
grace. “Roger,” he would say whenever I would do something
particularly stupid—which was often—giving me that
priest-to-sinner look, “you’re custodial.” When he chose, he
could take on an imperious manner, which stood him in good stead when
he began his career as a teacher, and he used it brilliantly.
At
one time after Russ had been teaching for several years, he helped
the drama department put on a play, the name of which I can’t
recall now, in which the dialogue included some mild
profanity...shocking at the time since high school productions were
generally scrubbed shiny clean. But Russ insisted it stay in because
it was important to the integrity of the play. I was spending the
weekend with him and the day after the play we went out somewhere
when Russ was approached by a dowager-type woman who said: “Mr.
Hogan, I want you know that the use of profanity in the play last
evening was deeply offensive. I am, after all, a lady, and we do not
appreciate such crudeness.” Russ looked at her calmly and listened
until she had finished. Then he said: “Madam, my mother was in the
audience last night. She was not offended. And she is ten times the
lady that you will ever be.” And with that, we walked away.
I
loved going to the movies with Russ, though I’m sure my pleasure
was not always shared by other members of the audience. Comedy or
drama, slapstick or Shakespeare, he would have me laughing
hysterically throughout the film. I remember one movie we saw which
had a very dramatic scene in which one of the male characters,
emoting to the rafters, had just reached the end of a particularly
heavy speech, yelling at the lead: “What are you going to do about
it?” Russ leaned to me and imperiously commanded me: “Shoot that
man.”
Perhaps
my favorite movie experience with Russ was seeing the much touted
Cleopatra—a
lavish spectacle with a cast of tens of thousands. One of the
major—and longest—scenes revolves around Cleopatra (Elizabeth
Taylor) arriving in Rome to be received by Julius Caesar. There were
trumpets and huge gongs and drums and elephants and Nubian slaves and
legions of battle-clad Roman soldiers and chariots and cheering
crowds and the parade went on endlessly. Finally, her slaves lower
her ornate sedan chair to the ground and Cleo steps off to approach
Caesar. At this point, Russ again leaned to me and whispered: “If
he says, ‘How was the trip?” I’m leaving.”
Russ
was, as I’ve indicated, an absolutely wonderful teacher…English,
of course…and his students adored him. After teaching in the
Chicago area for several years, he moved to St. Louis, where he
bought a beautiful brick colonial-style home and taught for more than
20 years before retiring. He helped write a textbook on English
literature used in the majority of high schools throughout the United
States.
In
addition to being the quintessential English teacher, Russ was also
the quintessential friend, and I never understood why he cut me—and,
I understand, everyone else—off toward the end of his life. Perhaps
he knew his health was failing. The last time I heard from him was
when he called to tell me he had bought a condo in Florida and was
moving. He said he did not have the address, but would mail it to me.
He never did and I had no way to get in touch with him, though I
tried. I'm not quite sure I remember how I heard of his death, but
learning of it created a vacuum in my heart which can never be
filled.
Russ
was my friend. Russ is
my
friend, and I would give anything to go to one more movie with him.
Dorien's
blogs are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday. Please take a moment to visit his website
(http://www.doriengrey.com)
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2 comments:
That was beautiful, D, and very, very moving. Russ would be proud of the tribute you've offered him here.
There are only a handful of friends like this in our lives, so it's important we cherish them just as you have.
You really made me smile with this one.
Thanks, Kage...that was nice of you to say. I always felt bad that Russ and I drifted apart in those last few years. He was a very important part of my life, and I do miss him.
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