It is to Weep

Can you possibly be as tired of hearing about my never-ending battles with bureaucracy as I am of writing about them? (Well, yes, I'm sure you can.) Then why do I bother doing it? Two reasons, primarily. First is that I do not suffer in silence...I want the bastards to know I have no intention of meekly acquiescing to their crap. Secondly, while I know full well they don't give a rat's ass what I think, if my experience might give someone pause before signing on the dotted line with them, it's well worth it.

Of all the many corporations which enjoy ignoring and/or harassing the very people whose money keeps them in business, AT&T is my personal bete-noir, my own King of Windmills. And once again, to forestall armies of AT&T lawyers pounding on my door with defamation lawsuits, I hasten to make it clear that the experiences and opinions detailed here are mine and, I am sure, not shared by any other person, living or dead. I am undoubtedly an anomaly amongst the billions of ecstatic customers singing the praises of this beneficent giant and erecting garland-adorned golden calves in its honor.

I've devoted at least two or three blogs to my long-running, utterly frustrating, and of course utterly futile battle with AT&T. Following my last report, I was assured by AT&T that all was well and that they looked forward to providing me with the same high quality, problem-free service which is their trademark. Warning enough, but I was really rather hoping....

This morning I went to go on line. I got, instead, a window telling me to call AT&T immediately. It was 7:45 a.m. The notice said customer service representatives were on hand to serve me 24 hours a day. I immediately called, hoping that by calling so early I would avoid the 45-minute, "Your-call-is-very-important"-laced bullshit I have had to endure on each of my two dozen-plus calls to them. And sure enough, after only ten minutes or so of the ubiquitous recorded "Thank you for calling AT&T" and following the voice's instruction to "Please enter or say your ten digit account number," "Are you calling about home or business service?" ad nauseam, finally came the "Please hold while I transfer your call." Fifteen seconds of silence before "Thank you for calling AT&T. Our office hours are 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Please call back during regular office hours."

Called again at 8:06 a.m. Forty-two minutes on hold. "Thank you for calling AT&T. All our representatives are busy assisting other customers," and "Please hold. Your call is very important to us" repeated 168 times. Finally got a woman representative in, I gathered from her accent, Bangladesh. She asked for my information...the same information I have to repeat over and over and over again not only when I first call and get the recording, but every time I actually talk to a human being. I gave it to her. A pause of perhaps 35 seconds. "Are you still there?" I finally asked. "Yes. I am looking up your file." Another 30 seconds of dead silence and then: "Thank you for calling AT&T..."

After a two-hour calming down period, I tried one more time. And finally, FINALLY got to someone on this side of the planet. I asked why I had received the original message on my computer, and why they had blocked me from getting on line.

"You have an outstanding bill of $106.27 from June," I was told. My monthly charge is supposed to be $19.99 since all I have with AT&T is internet DSL service. I explained that I had, less than a week ago, gone through this whole routine, paid $81.50 over the phone, and had bank records to show I'd paid every bill electronically. "Do you have those records handy?" she asked.

"Well, no. You see, I bank on line and pay my bills on line and would love to get them for you, but AT&T won't let me get on line to get to them!"

"I understand, sir, and am truly sorry. However we cannot reinstate your internet service until the $106.27 is paid."

I paid the $106.27. Then and there. They won. They ALWAYS win. They are AT&T and we are but mortals. It was simply not worth the hassle of going through their endless, endless bullshit.

I went out immediately and got another internet server. AT&T can go F.....well, you know....themselves.

Not that AT&T is not a wonderful, caring company, mind you. It's just me.

P.S. I have never done a P.S. to a blog before, but I think this one is warranted. I just went down for the mail and found a refund check for $35.00 (???) from......come on, guess.

New entries are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Please come back...and bring a friend. Your comments are always welcome. And you're invited to stop by my website at http://www.doriengrey.com, or drop me a note at doriengrey@att.net.