Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!

When I was a lad (oh, dear Lord, not another one of those stories!), in that magical time when human beings came before commerce and money became the end-all and be-all of our society, the Christmas season--and in that totally un-P.C. world it was the Christmas season rather than the Holiday season--began the day after Thanksgiving. Retail stores did not start putting up decorations and bombarding you with "Jingle Bells" on the first of August in order to entice you to "shop early."

And with the door just having closed on another Thanksgiving, the true meaning of the holidays--getting you to spend money--is in full swing.

Of course, Thanksgiving is not--yet--really a money-making holiday, except for turkey raisers and cranberry growers. I'm sure corporate headquarters around the country have research teams on overtime trying to figure out how to milk an extra nickel out of the public. ("Thanksgiving is for gift-giving. Get your beloved a sterling-silver turkey charm! Only $99.99!" "Collect the entire 224 piece 'The First Thanksgiving' figurine set. Each exquisitely-crafted ceramic piece sold separately!" "Life-sized Puritan lawn figures, just $199.99 each!")

Holiday traditions appear to be less and less about the original meaning of the holidays and more and more about ways to spend money. Any random hour spent watching television or reading a newspaper or magazine makes it clear that how much you care for your loved ones is directly proportional to how much money you spend on their gifts. Increasingly we are being relieved of the necessity of actually spending the time and effort to shop for specific present, and encouraged to simply give gift cards. (Though to be honest with you I really don't object to gift cards, and am happy to get them. If I'm not sure what someone would really like, or whether they don't already have ten of whatever I'm thinking of getting, a gift card enables them to get what they really want rather than something they'll seldom if ever use.)

Holidays change for each of us as we grow older. The self-centered wonder of childhood slowly fades with the realization that there are others in the world other than ourselves. The joy spreads out to the giving of gifts as well as the receiving them, and the pleasure of seeing others open their gifts nearly equals that of opening our own.

But despite the utterly cold commercialism of so much of the "holiday season," the true spirit of holidays lies now and always primarily in family and friends, and within ourselves. Those of us who were blessed with loving families know full well that their true value lies not in gifts received, but in the spirit in which the gifts, spiritual and emotionally as well as materially, are given.

I will always remember that one year when I was probably around 7 or 8, I wanted a doll house. I in no way related doll houses with girls...they were just another outlet for my imagination. But my dad did not believe boys should have doll houses and wouldn't allow my mom to buy me one. So she made me one out of an orange crate. I've never forgotten it, or her demonstration of love in giving me something I really wanted.

As the years pass, most of us start our own families and our own traditions. But for many of us who do not, holidays tend to lessen in importance as we lose the people we so strongly associate with them.

Depression during the holidays is very common, and very real, as memories of, and longing for, holidays gone from us forever rise to the surface. I deal with this problem by looking at a holiday as simply another day. I still appreciate their significance to others, and derive pleasure from spending them with friends. (While I still have cousins who mean the world to me and remain the cornerstones of my existence, I tend to decline their always-kind holiday invitations with thanks and real gratitude simply because I then would have to face all those memories and longings I choose not to acknowledge. Hey, it works for me.)

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