"Me" and "Them"

I became a writer partly because of my inability to convey, when speaking, the thoughts I want to convey in the way I want to convey them. Words are no longer out of my mouth than I wish I'd reworded what I just said, or added something, or not said something at all. Writing allows a time buffer. I can write something down, look at it carefully to see if I said it the way I wanted to say it, and make whatever changes are necessary.

This, of course, is in an ideal world. Even in writing, I tend to be in such a rush to get things out that I don't take the time I should to make sure I'm making any sense.

Far too frequently, in my desire to make a point or to find the right way to say what I want to say, I end up stumbling all over myself, walking into walls or opening doors to a brick wall. I had that problem after I had written most of this blog and then went back to see if it made any sense. It didn't. At least not much.

The intent of the blog was/is to demonstrate the fact that the complexities of our language too often hinder clarity, and that there are some basic concepts which can hardly be explained in words at all.

I began by pondering the difficulties between the elemental concepts of "I/me", "you," "them/they."
All my life I have been painfully aware that there is me, and then there's everybody else in the world. I am in fact outnumbered seven-billion-or-so-and-counting to one. (Go, Breeders!)

The problem comes in fully recognizing the fact that every other human on the planet is, to him- or herself, an "I", facing seven-billion-or-so-and-counting to one odds. Giving that idea serious thought can easily boggle the mind if dwelt on at any length.

The fact is there is only one person in the entire world truly qualified to use the words "me," "myself," and "I," and that is the individual using them.

I'm not quite sure where the assumption that life is supposed to be easy came from, though I suspect it derived from the fact that we view life through a perspective of "me" and "everyone else." "I" constantly find myself caught up in one Wagnerian tempest after another, while watching "everyone else" sail effortlessly through calm seas. So, from my perspective, life is easy for everyone but me.

From the perspective of "I", "everyone else" appears to somehow be members of a gigantic club to which "I" do not belong. "I" looks around at the seven billion "you,"s, "them"s and "they"s and, not surprisingly, feel totally surrounded, overwhelmed, and hopelessly intimidated. There is the inescapable assumption that all those "you"s are privy to an infinite number of things of which "I/me" have been deprived.

This opinion is in fact justified by the fact that "I" am an individual in effect dining alone whereas "they" are a collective, a pot-luck wherein each one brings something slightly different to the table.

Everyone else seems to go through life with astonishing ease. "They" don't make the stupid mistakes "I" make. "They" almost never get frustrated over little things, or snap at someone who doesn't deserve to be snapped at, or say or do stupid and embarrassing things they would give anything in the world to unsay or undo. In short, "they" have mastered the rules of the game of life which are written in some alien language "I" can never hope to read, let alone translate. "They" always seem to be able to cope with almost any given situation with absolute ease and are possessed of a poise which has always escaped "I/me." "They" have an absolutely wonderful time at any gathering. "They" completely understand everything that is going on. "They" sing and dance and share "you" jokes and stories which too often confuse or dumbfound "I/me."

Fortunately, there are two wonderful words which provide a form of solace, bridge the gap between
"I/me" and "you/them/they" and provide reassurance that "I/me" might not be quite as isolated as it seems. The words are "us" and "we," and the world would be a far better place if more people used them for the general good.

New entries are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Please come back...and bring a friend. Your comments are always welcome. And you're invited to stop by my website at http://www.doriengrey.com, or drop me a note at doriengrey@att.net.