Guess What? More Spam!

And once again, the cesspool of my spam folder runneth over, and once again, my knee jerketh in response. Here are a few more choice bits of the spammers's art, cut and pasted exactly as I got them.

"HELLO, - Hello Compliment of the day to you my name is Garry Loopy finance manager Bank of Scotland, i am..." (...aptly named. And I was always under the impression Scotland was an English-speaking country. Obviously, from your note, I was wrong.)

"Burn all the Statues and their shelves - Nor turn aside to Yarrow..." (Uh, most statues are made of stone or ceramic or metal and don't burn, and if they're small enough to stand on a shelf, they're statuettes. But I'm definitely with you when it comes to not turning aside to Yarrow, whatever that's supposed to mean.)

あなたは何を育てる？大人のみが集まる農園 (Now, that's funny! I'll take two!)

"Order what your doc wont give you for Pain-or-Anxiety." (Wow, man! This is, like, fantastic! I stubbed my toe the other day, 'ya know, and my doc refused to prescribe Oxycodon or Percocet or Valium or anything that would really help. Please send me 4 bottles of each.)

"Google is paying my bills! I can't believe how easy this is...." ('Ya know what? Neither can I or anyone with the I.Q. of a baked potato.)

"Make it large nad stone hard." ('Nad?' And what made you think I was taking orders for one of my famous souffles?)

"View pics of local Christian singles!" (Praise the Lord! Where do I go for pics of local godless, they'll-all-burn-in-hell heathen singles?)

"your not old" (My not old what?)

"DEAREST, I AM MRS CYNTHIA ABDUL. I AM A WIDOW BEING THAT I LOST MY HUSBAND..." (Well, yes, Cynthia...that's usually a requirement for being a widow.)

"Twice seven consenting years have shed - In a strange Land and far from home...." (Oh, yeah! Cutesy crap like this always guarantees I'll be just dying to buy whatever it is you're selling.)

"Catherine S. From Rhode Island just received $590 today from google!"(Suuuuuuure she did. Hey, you wanna buy a bridge?)

"Be like Davd M. and earn thousands of dollars a month with google!" (David, meet Catherine and the 14,000 other people I've gotten spam from in the past week with these google pitches.)

Arnita Arlinda "En1argerPenis 3" in 6 Weeks, see myPenis pictures as proof." (Uh, thanks, Arnita, but I think I'll pass. And isn't Arnita a woman's name? Women have penises now?)

"Millionaire wants you to cash in!" (Take out the word "you" and you have the reason behind all spam.)

heidi lowe "C4 Work for Google! 40 - Thought you might be interested in this news article...." (Well, "heidi", other than the fact that the coding clearly says this is one of 4,000 pre-packaged "messages" you've bought a franchise to pass on, the fact is that no, I would not be interested in this news article, or the next piece of recycled garbage you try to foist off on me.)

Sigh.

New entries are posted by 10 a.m. Central time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Please come back...and bring a friend. Your comments are always welcome. And you're invited to stop by my website at http://www.doriengrey.com, or drop me a note at doriengrey@att.net.