Spamity-Spamity-Spam

I've noticed--perversely, almost to my regret, but not quite--that the number of spam messages, especially of the "Make her scream with pleasure" and "Add 14" to your manhood" variety have fallen off drastically of late. I'd like to think it is because my internet server is finally getting wise, but I doubt it.

Anyway, here is the latest culling from the cyberspace garbage, with the "come on" of the message exactly as received, and my Pavlov's dog response.

"What's this?" (Why, this is spam! I'm surprised you didn't notice it. I spotted it a mile away.)

mary LAST_NAME "are you bored lonely and wanting some spice? I'm cathy and I..." (You're cathy? You just told me you were mary LAST_NAME? It's so hard to know who to trust these days.)

"Still dislike me?" (Hey, you're pretty perceptive for a spammer!)

"You can joinUp with our dating community without a nickel-being spent!" (Or, I can not join up with your dating community without a nickel-being spent." I like that option better.)

"Will the 90 day Wealth Challenge bring you financial triumph?" (Gee, that's a tough one. Let me take a really wild guess...)

"Make her want it 24/7" ("It"? Can you be a bit more specific? You spammers are so subtle it's difficult to know what you mean.)

"and the long-eared own standing watchover a dark churchyard laughed..." (and the short-tempered writer wading through his spam messages thought this was clever, but not clever enough to make him open it.)

"Assistance..Needed. Dear Friend, I am Mr. Zhang tiejun, Foreign operations manager, Bank of China, Hong Kong...." (Do you suppose I might ask how, out of 6 billion people on the planet, you wrote to me?)

"Become a photographer from the convenience and comfort of your home!" (Uh, doesn't that sort of limit my range of things to photograph?)

"Shall Life Renew these bodies of a Truth?" (I don't know...shall it? But first, what the hell are you talking about? ...Never mind, I don't want to know.)

"You're a jerk!" (Why thank you, you silver-tongued rascal you. That's sure to get me to read your post! But we'll have to wait until hell freezes over.)

"Unable to understand you. --It Blighty praps he sees his plucks all gone...." (Whereas you are a beacon of clairty.)

"Unable to call you." (Thank God.)

"Fall asleep, fall asleep--As I walked along the hallway and down the stairs of Gateshead Hall..." (Wow! Just those few words and I'm halfway there.)

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